blessings and friends...

I wanted to create this blog so i can keep good track of the great blessings God has for me every day, so my goal is to write something every day, so i can be more aware by the amazing love of my Father. Also, i will just write my heart out whenever i feel like it.

Right now i feel like writing about friends, and about how easy it is to lose great friendships. Some sad events put me in the position where i had no time to socialize, to keep up with my friends. I kept contact with just one or two friends, but all the other ones decided my life was too complicated at the moment for them to step in. But than there came the moment when my life was more relaxed, I guess but I was too hurt or too busy to renew some friendships.

The people i'm talking about weren't the kind of friends you can call in the middle of the night because you broke up with your boyfriend or something like that. They were the gang you hang out with after church, the people whose company you enjoy. Every now and than you'd let one in, giving them the trust they don't deserve and this is how i ended up all by myself.

So i decided to invest more time in keeping in touch with friends that are far from me. And I trusted them. First, they weren't close to me, so they couldn't go around and make my secrets public. Secondly, it was so very easy to open up in front of a computer. When i write an email and not have a face-to-face conversation, words come easier, I have more topics to write of, I don't have to look those people in the eyes and i don't have to let them in my soul, though i do by writing to them. I just don't realize it at the moment. The burden is off my shoulders, the problem shared doesn't seem so big anymore.

Maybe this is one of the reasons why we can't see God when we pray. If we could see Him, see His glory, if we could feel His complete holiness, if we could look Him in the eyes and see all the love and at the same time all the pain we cause him through our sins, we couldn't pray anymore. I know I wouldn't. I would just be in awe, silent and with my tears rolling down.

I try to get God more involved in my life, make Him part of everything I do. I often wonder what is His plan with that old lady who's sitting down on the bus on a crowded ride downtown. I wonder how many times has God felt rejected because of her. And than I start praying for her, that she would stop making God hurt through her decisions, her sins. This is my new ministry, to pray for all the people that no one ever prays for. People hear the Gospel all the time, but how many of us actually fight the great spiritual war being on God's side?

God has blessed me so very much today. I was sitting on a bench today waiting for the bus to come, and a tiny dragonfly decided to join me. I'm no great fan of bugs, but I couldn't stop staring at it. It was so fragile, so delicate, so perfect the way God created it.

Our Lord is the best artist this world has ever known!